Kayden Paul Buckley

SORRY NO CANDLES OR TRIBUTES BUT MY INTERNET IS BROKE AND THEY WILL RESUME AS SOON AS IT IS FIXED. YOU AND YOUR ANGELS ARE STILL IN MY THOUGHTS EVERY DAY XX

Kayden Paul Buckley fell asleep with mummy and daddy on 31st March 2008 aged 5 hours.

From Newton Heath, Manchester.

Precious son of Vicky and Paul, Darling brother of James and a much loved Grandson, Nephew and Cousin.

From the moment I saw the cross appear in the window of the pregnancy test i was absolutely over the moon to be having another baby. We (me and Kaydens daddy Paul) had decided to start trying for a baby two months earlier.

We were both really excited and rushed to the doctors to find out that I was 5 weeks gone. At 12 weeks I started to bleed really heavily and was convinced i'd lost my baby and when I got to the hospital I was examined and told that i'd had a miscarriage. As my 12 week scan was booked for the next day, they told me to come back just to make sure that the baby was gone. We went home absolutely devastated. I returned for my scan the following day and I couldnt believe it but there was my Kayden, his little heart beating on the screen. I was ecstatic because the day before they told me id had a miscarriage!

So the pregancy progressed but as I was approaching 20 weeks I realised that my tummy wasnt very big. I already had a little boy, James and I remembered being much bigger with him but i thought no more of it.

We couldnt wait for the 20wks scan to find out if we were having a boy or girl but with the scan came the news that broke my heart. There was no water around my baby and I had to see the consultant. He told me quite bluntly that if I didnt terminate the pregnancy then my unborn child would just die in my tummy. Devastation. I refused to give up on my baby, I just had to do everything I could to give him the best chance at life so I was referred to St Marys Hospital in Manchester. There I saw a specialist doctor and she explained what was going to happen.

She told us that the likely outcome would be that if Kayden did survive birth then he would be very poorly throughout his life with chest problems because his lungs would be underveloped because of the lack of water around him.

Every week I went to hospital so that the doctors could inject water around Kayden through my tummy. It was really painful and I even cried sometimes but I Knew I was doing everything in my power to keep my little man going.

As the weeks went by, we got really friendly with the doctors as the hospital was becoming my second home! But i noticed something, as the time went on, the doctors were starting to have hope for my baby. You see they didnt expect me to go past 24 weeks because my waters had broken before I was 20 weeks gone, but they were wrong. Kayden was happy in my tummy and he hung on like a little soldier until 29 weeks.

On March 31st 2008 I woke up and realised I had been bleeding during the night, and quite a lot too. I went straight to the hospital with Paul and I was told that my baby was fine and that I could go home if the bledding stopped, which it did. I was waiting to be discharged when I started to get terrible pains. They wern't labour pains but they really hurt and I was bleeding a lot. I was rushed to delivery suite for an emergency caesarean.

When I woke from the operation Kayden had been taken to the neonatal unit and the doctor told me he was doing ok. I couldnt go and see him because I was in recovery and still woozy from the morphine. I was just so happy that after all of the worrying my Kayden was going to be ok. Paul brought me some pictures of Kayden and I felt I could burst with pride, he was so tiny weighing in at 2lb 140z but every little bit of him was perfect.

3 Hours later, things took a turn for the worse, Kaydens lung had collapsed and the doctors told us that it was unlikely that our precious little boy would make it through the night. I didnt know what to do or what to say I just wanted my baby to be ok. But that was not meant to be as the doctor told us that he wasn't breathing for himself, the machines were doing it for him and that we should turn the ventilator off.

I waited on delivery suite for Kayden to be brought to me in his little incubator. He was covered in wires and hooked up to loads of machines and it broke me to see him like that.

Kayden was placed in my arms and the ventilator was switched off at 11:52pm. My Kayden was gone. We kept him with us all night, having cuddles and just holding his face next to mine, I had him for such a short time but hed made such a huge impact on my life.

We brought Kayden home on 10th April and we laid him to rest on Friday 11th April 2008.

There is not a single day goes by that I dont think about my angel, Kayden I love you so much my darling and I am so glad I never gave up on you, I had 5 beautiful hours with you and I wouldnt swap that for anything.

Love you always my darling, mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mummy would like to say a special thank you to Dr. Vause and all the doctors and nurses at the Neonatal Medical Unit at Saint Marys hospital who worked so hard to keep my Kayden alive because without them I would never have got to meet my beautiful baby boy.


This song is from mummy and daddy to you our son:

You are our sunshine
Our only sunshine
You make us happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much we love you
Please don't take our sunshine away